Mute Your Critic . . .
Wake Up Confident!
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Got goals? Would you like to feel less depressed and more energized? Less angry and more calm? Less seriousness and more laughter? Less debt and more income? Give up cigarettes and establish healthier habits? All kinds of good stuff?
Today’s blog continues with sharing another portion of the Robert Fritz insights (www.RobertFritz.com), showing how they can benefit you. I’ve been helped so much, it’s amazing!! I used to go forward, backward, forward, backward . . . now I go forward, forward, forward.
Please make this mental picture. Imagine that you are standing between two big poles . . . let’s picture them about 10 to 12 ft. apart for our illustration.
Now imagine that one very thick rubber band is around your waist and one pole = your Desired End Results . . . and a second thick rubber band is around your waist and the other pole = your Current Reality regarding that goal. And imagine that each of them is comfortably taut for now.
Tension and Release
If you apply yourself for a while in goal-directed behaviors, you’ll make progress in the direction of one pole / goal . . . but as you do two interesting things happen.
One is that the tension of the “goal” rubber band becomes more lax–so you aren’t as driven to progress toward that pole / goal. You’re feeling better . . . progress is seen and felt.
But the other thing that happens is that the tension of the other rubber band, between you and the original baseline, becomes more tense–so you feel a desire, a willingness, to ease up a bit. After all, you have made SOME progress, and you deserve a break. Right?
Can you draw the above picture in your mind’s eye, and catch onto the concept? (See Chapter 11, “The Structure of Our Lives,” in the Fritz book, Your Life As Art.) It illustrates why so many well-intended people with great goals spend years and years going forward excitingly for a while, but then fall backward, then with renewed effort they go forward agan, but before long they go backward and then . . .
Just like a rocker. A rocking chair. In Fritz’s language, an oscillating pattern.
What do you have to do to convert “rocking back and forth “into, “You Rock!!” – ?
This riddle will be solved here next Sunday!
Your Confidence Coach
What would you like to be more confident about?
Rebecca R. Riales
M.Ed., Ph.D., LPC-LPCC-NCC
I share awesome confidence truths & tools with smart people who are looking for ways to emerge from anger and depression into the sunshine of confidence and motivation.
Does that ring a bell with you?
*ICJ = the Inner Critic-Judge part of your personality that’s always negative
*SSSS = Six Simple Self-Talk Statements, said by a centered “YOU” to your ICJ.
Basic Version: 1) Thank you. 2) I received your message. 3) Thank you for your good intentions. 4) The good news is that my inner child is safe here with me and _ _ (your version of God). 5) You can relax because … 6) we are handling things another way.
I stand on the shoulders of giants, the original creators and developers of the model of the inner selves, namely, Dr. Hal Stone and Dr. Sidra Stone. Learn more from them here:
Schedule here. Both you and I will receive an email confirming the date and time.
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