Nov
15

Rutherford’s “Rx” for increasing your self-confidence (Part 2)

Mute Your Critic . . .
Wake Up Confident
!

>>Thursday blogs: Fun E-Words

>>Sunday blogs: from Anger, Depression, Self-Sabotage and Fear of Rejection,
to Confidence, Motivation, and Results

 
>> Click here for my Free Report titled,
“The Four Little-Known Steps from Low Self-Esteem to Radiant Confidence”:
 http://MuteYourCriticWakeUpConfident.com/sq  
  


Darel Rutherford wants to help you! (cont.)

This blog is based partly on Darel Rutherford’s comments (www.RichBits.com) and partly on mine where my initials (RRR) are added.  He says:

Self-confidence is the most powerful form of riches on the planet!  

Once you have that, you can have anything else you want in life. Hear me on this. Belief in yourself is all it will take to make you healthier, wealthier and happier than you have ever been before.

(Darel, cont.)  So, do yourself a big favor. Right now, stop reading. Allow the idea of having ten times more self confidence sink in, and allow the idea of being that confident to become your burning desire. Believe in it and know that it will happen.  All that’s required is that you be sufficiently motivated to follow the following two simple steps to personal power.

To raise the bar on your self confidence, do these two things on a daily basis.

(1)   Set your conscious intention to KEEP your power and stop giving away your power.

(2)   Set your conscious intention to ADD to your personal power daily.

Let’s look at (1) today, and the second one in a future blog:  He says that you and I drain our personal power, we give it away daily, by telling ourselves and others our victim stories!

RRR note – I underlined the word telling, because that’s the operative word.  Telling!  That is why I continually teach that IT ALL COMES DOWN TO WHAT YOU TELL YOURSELF.  Awareness + Self-talk are the key tools for changing your entire life dramatically!

Back to Darel: You think you don’t have a victim story? Think again. We all have victim stories, and when you start paying attention, you’ll see how many they are.

RRR note – I am having several would-be victim situations this morning!  I could tell you about my computer running aggravatingly slow despite running Hitman-pro-3.5, so my tech will be making a house call.  I could tell you about my physician’s staff forgetting to call in my lab test order and the aggravation of time wasted and trips wasted, etc. 

The SSSS Empowers Me
(If you used it instead of just reading about it, it would empower you, too.)

But I won’t go further with those poor-me stories.  That’s because it’s more important to me to remember and affirm that “I am verrrrry powerful . . .” so I acknowledge the practical events, and I continue to tell myself the best possible things.

The most important thing I tell myself is the SSSS* – this morning they are being addressed to the JUDGE part of my ICJ.*  I soothe and separate from the poor dear, whose entire identity is based on the false belief that I can be a victim!  Then I am able to function in the zone of my EMERGING CENTER with a more clear mind.

And from there I tell myself other things, such as:  I tell myself about my competence to take the necessary steps to move forward, I tell myself that there are a variety of possible causes of the problems (things are not always as my Inner Judge self thinks!!), I tell myself that by looking at things differently I will feel different . . . and . . . so . . . on.   

Back to Darel

Darel isn’t as lucky as you, he doesn’t know about the SSSS.*  He does know about giving your power away.  With each victim / blaming / poor-me story you tell, whether you are telling others or yourself, you give up personal power big time.  Weak!

Darel now gives us a personal example from his ife:

Every two weeks a team of ladies comes to his house to clean it. They do a good job and get it done in about one hour. But while cleaning, they also rearrange some things that he would rather not have moved.  The clocks are turned the wrong way, and the stuff he keeps on his bathroom vanity is totally rearranged.  He used to get very upset about these things after the cleaning ladies left.

He asks, Does his reactive behavior remind you of anything you might be doing as well? His reaction, and the story he tells himself and others about it, is a victim story, pure and simple.

The Five-Part Healthy Communication Formula

RRR – Wow.  Darel needs to learn about the SSSS! 

Furthermore, he also needs to know that there’s a fabulous secret to the successful handling of matters such as this.  I call it the The Five-Part Healthy Communication Formula.  

I’ll share it next week – it will be one of the best things you ever learned from me.

Or from anyone.

Ever.

Dr. Rebecca
Your Confidence Coach
So what would YOU like to be more confident about?


HOW I CAN HELP?
Do you have BIG plans & goals, but even BIGGER self-sabotage?
Do you feel depression or anger?  Do you have fear of rejection, feel unworthy?
My specialty is helping people discover their confidence and create exciting motivation.
It’s the Psychology of Success. 

ACRONYMS EXPLAINED – The Path to Your Confidence
*ICJ = Inner Critic-Judge
*EC = “YOU” as the Emerging Center, like being the CEO of your life
*SSSS = Six Simple Self-talk Statements which “YOU” say to your ICJ.  Here is the basic version:  1) Thank you, you’re good at your job!  2) I received your message that _ _ _. 3) I appreciate your underlying good intentions. 4) I have some really good news for you: My vulnerable inner child is safe here with me and _ _  (your term for God).   5)  So you can relax because … 6) we’re handling things a different way. 

PSYCHOLOGICAL MODEL
I stand on the shoulders of giants, Dr. Hal Stone & Dr. Sidra Stone, the original creators and developers of the revolutionary model of the psychology of inner selves.  You can learn more at their main site: 
www.VoiceDialogue.org 

PHONE CHAT?
If you’d like to talk, it’s easy to schedule.
http://tungle.me/rrriales 

COMMENTS?
Make comments (below the line below), or share or save this blog, by clicking below. Receive RSS notifications of each new blog by going here:
http://muteyourcriticwakeupconfident.com/Test/wp/blog/?feed=rss2  

(65)

Nov
11

Entertaining! Your Fun E-Word of the Week

Mute Your Critic . . .
Wake Up Confident
!

>>Thursday blogs: Fun E-Words

>>Sunday blogs: from Anger, Depression, Self-Sabotage and Fear of Rejection, to Confidence, Motivation, and Results

 >> Click here for my Free Report titled,
“The Four Little-Known Steps from Low Self-Esteem to Radiant Confidence”:
 http://MuteYourCriticWakeUpConfident.com/sq  


What is Entertaining to You?

Our culture is hugely focused on entertainment, and entertainers.  What and who are your favorites?

When I’m standing in line at the check-out counter of a grocery store, I see the display of many magazines with this or that entertainer, doing this or that outrageous activity, with this or that star.

Yawn.

Jim Carrey on Being a Famous, Rich Entertainer

I heard Jim Carrey say something that fascinated me.  I think it was on Oprah.  He said he wished everyone could be given fame and fortune when they were 21 yr. old, so they could discover early on that money and fame do NOT bring happiness, and get over THAT myth, and press on to discover what DOES. 

He should know!

Funny.

Dr. Rebecca on Entertainment

My life is filled with only two types of things.

One is  spiritually satisfying.

Everything else is mere entertainment!!

Dr. Rebecca
Your Confidence Coach
So what would YOU like to be more confident about?


HOW I CAN HELP?
Do you have BIG plans & goals, but even BIGGER self-sabotage?
Do you feel depression or angry or unworthy?  Do you have fear of rejection?
My specialty is helping people discover their confidence and create exciting motivation.
It’s the Psychology of Success within and without.

ACRONYMS EXPLAINED – The Path to Your Confidence
*ICJ = Inner Critic-Judge
*EC = “YOU” as the Emerging Center, like being the CEO of “Your Life, Inc.”
*SSSS = Six Simple Self-talk Statements -  “YOU” say them to your ICJ to protect your Inner Child and regain your personal power.  Here is the basic version:  1) Thank you, you’re good at your job!  2) I received your message that _ _ _. 3) I appreciate your underlying good intentions. 4) I have some really good news for you: My vulnerable inner child is safe here with me and _ _  (your term for God).   5)  So you can relax because … 6) we’re handling things a different way. 

PSYCHOLOGICAL MODEL
I stand on the shoulders of giants, Dr. Hal Stone & Dr. Sidra Stone, the original creators and developers of the revolutionary model of the psychology of inner selves.  You can learn more at their main site: 
www.VoiceDialogue.org 

PHONE CHAT?
If you’d like to talk, it’s easy to schedule.
http://tungle.me/rrriales 

COMMENTS?
Make comments (below the line below), or share or save this blog, by clicking below. Receive RSS notifications of each new blog by going here:
http://muteyourcriticwakeupconfident.com/Test/wp/blog/?feed=rss2  

(64) 

 

Nov
07

Rutherford's "Rx" for increasing your self-confidence (part 1)

Mute Your Critic . . .
Wake Up Confident
!

>>Thursday blogs: Fun E-Words

>>Sunday blogs: from Anger, Depression, Self-Sabotage and Fear of Rejection, to Confidence, Motivation, and Results

>> Click here for my Free Report titled,
“The Four Little-Known Steps from Low Self-Esteem to Radiant Confidence”:
 http://MuteYourCriticWakeUpConfident.com/sq  


Darel Rutherford wants to help you!

Would you agree with Darel Rutherford’s point of view on self-confidence, below?

I love his messages – see www.RichBits.com – and perhaps you too will be empowered by them. 

As always, my M.O. (Modus Operandi) is to take the “very good” advice of others and show you, dear reader, how you can transform it into “GREAT ADVICE PLUS THE HOW-TO.” 

Any very good advice you want to apply in your life can always be amped-up by putting it into the psychological context of the inner selves.

I know, because I’ve been doing this for myself and a great many others since the mid-1990s.  It works!

Darel’s Two Steps to Self Confidence

He says there are two simple steps for raising the bar on your self confidence and finding the power to solve all your problems.  (RRR: There’s a bold claim!)

They are:  (1) Stop giving away your power, and (2) add to your personal power daily.

Allow yourself to dream!

He asks us to imagine what our lives would be like if we had 10 times as much confidence.

>>It would be a lot healthier (RRR: I’d add, emotionally as well as physically)
>>It would be much happier.
>>It would make us so successful that our incomes would double or triple.

He goes on to say: Believe me, the only thing standing between you and having the life you really want is your self-limiting belief that you can’t have it.

I believe that – but is he going to tell us HOW?

He says: Once you’ve removed those limitations, the sky’s the limit.  The next thing that happens is you’ll discover the jewel which is the self-confident you.  And once you have real self confidence, life becomes a WOW experience, not a “poor me” victim story.

Here’s your chance to go for the wow.

What he does not say, is the “busting loose” truth I bring you over and over and over:

You cannot experience these exhilarating increases in your self-confidence as long as you are plagued and dragged down by your Inner Critic-Judge voice, especially your unrecognized Inner Critic-Judge (ICJ*) voice.

How aware of yours are you?

To be continued . . .

Dr. Rebecca
Your Confidence Coach
So what would YOU like to be more confident about?


HOW I CAN HELP?
Do you have BIG plans & goals, but even BIGGER self-sabotage?
Do you feel depression or anger?  Do you have fear of rejection, feel unworthy?
My specialty is helping people discover their confidence and create exciting motivation.
It’s the Psychology of Success. 

ACRONYMS EXPLAINED – The Path to Your Confidence
*ICJ = Inner Critic-Judge
*EC = “YOU” as the Emerging Center, like being the CEO of your life
*SSSS = Six Simple Self-talk Statements which “YOU” say to your ICJ.  Here is the basic version:  1) Thank you, you’re good at your job!  2) I received your message that _ _ _. 3) I appreciate your underlying good intentions. 4) I have some really good news for you: My vulnerable inner child is safe here with me and _ _  (your term for God).   5)  So you can relax because … 6) we’re handling things a different way. 

PSYCHOLOGICAL MODEL
I stand on the shoulders of giants, Dr. Hal Stone & Dr. Sidra Stone, the original creators and developers of the revolutionary model of the psychology of inner selves.  You can learn more at their main site: 
www.VoiceDialogue.org 

PHONE CHAT?
If you’d like to talk, it’s easy to schedule.
http://tungle.me/rrriales 

COMMENTS?
Make comments (below the line below), or share or save this blog, by clicking below. Receive RSS notifications of each new blog by going here:
http://muteyourcriticwakeupconfident.com/Test/wp/blog/?feed=rss2  

(63)

Nov
05

Your fun E-word of the week: Enrolled!! (amazing)

Mute Your Critic . . .
Wake Up Confident
!

>>Thursday blogs: Fun E-Words

>>Sunday blogs: from Anger, Depression, Self-Sabotage and Fear of Rejection, to Confidence, Motivation, and Results 

>> Click here for my Free Report titled,
“The Four Little-Known Steps from Low Self-Esteem to Radiant Confidence”:
 http://MuteYourCriticWakeUpConfident.com/sq  
  


I just ENROLLED!

I laughed out loud when I saw (on my long list of Fun E-words) that the E-word for this week was ENROLLED.

ENROLLED-!!-??-!!

Oh, hahahahahahahahaha-!!

That’s because I ENROLLED on 11/01/2010 in an amazing program that found me a few days ago like a little heat-seeking missle.  It feels like it was a divine one.

Attraction

LOMA!  LOMA!  LOMA!  That’s my preferred acronym for the Law of Attraction, because it’s really the Law of Magnetic Attraction = LOMA.  It’s also more fun to pronounce.

LOMA is also a real word meaning ‘little hill.’  I like to think of it as ‘little speed bump.’

Your thoughts create your feelings, right?  And feelings are electromagnetic.  Catch the “magnetic” in that last big word?  So whatever you are feeeeling right now is magnetically attracting more of the same to you.

How are you feeling right now?  What’s headed your way?

I am verrrrry powerful . . .

Between 9 and 11 on 9/11 of this year, thanks to unseen forces I believe I partnered with, I flattened a major ’speed bump’ in my life.  I felt a big shift.  I call it my 9-11 shift.  After that I began to say many times a day, with respect to some matters that mattered to me very much:

“I am verrry powerful.  I am verrry powerful . . .”

BTW, because of my deeply held spiritual beliefs, I also said the following, to make sure I remembered the Source of my always-present but newly-felt power:  “To say, ‘Of myself I can do nothing’ is to gain all power.”  If you happen to be walking my spiritual path, you might recognize that quote.  No matter.

There’s an art to this paradox.

Within less than a month, several amazing, even astounding, things happened . . .

. . . including, on the business front, the appearance, out of the blue, of a unique system, a genius system, for generating wealth in the exact manner I prefer, to which I ENROLLED.

How About You?

Would you like to be ENROLLED with me?  Maybe LOMA is working for you, too?

My sharing it with you would require that you sign a non-disclosure agreement . . .

Will wonders never cease . . .

Dr. Rebecca
Your Confidence Coach
So what would YOU like to be more confident about?


HOW I CAN HELP?
Do you have BIG plans & goals, but even BIGGER self-sabotage?
Do you feel depression or anger?  Do you have fear of rejection, feel unworthy?
My specialty is helping people discover their confidence and create exciting motivation.
It’s the Psychology of Success. 

ACRONYMS EXPLAINED – The Path to Your Confidence
*ICJ = Inner Critic-Judge
*EC = “YOU” as the Emerging Center, like being the CEO of your life
*SSSS = Six Simple Self-talk Statements which “YOU” say to your ICJ.  Here is the basic version:  1) Thank you, you’re good at your job!  2) I received your message that _ _ _. 3) I appreciate your underlying good intentions. 4) I have some really good news for you: My vulnerable inner child is safe here with me and _ _  (your term for God).   5)  So you can relax because … 6) we’re handling things a different way. 

PSYCHOLOGICAL MODEL
I stand on the shoulders of giants, Dr. Hal Stone & Dr. Sidra Stone, the original creators and developers of the revolutionary model of the psychology of inner selves.  You can learn more at their main site: 
www.VoiceDialogue.org 

 PHONE CHAT?
If you’d like to talk, it’s easy to schedule.
http://tungle.me/rrriales 

COMMENTS?
Make comments (below the line below), or share or save this blog, by clicking below. Receive RSS notifications of each new blog by going here:
http://muteyourcriticwakeupconfident.com/Test/wp/blog/?feed=rss2  

(61)


Oct
31

HOW do you apply the advice, "Love Yourself"? (Part 2 of 2)

Mute Your Critic . . .
Wake Up Confident
!

>>Thursday blogs: Fun E-Words
 
>>Sunday blogs: from Anger, Depression, and Fear of Rejection, to Confidence, Motivation, and Results

>> Click here for my Free Report titled,
“The Four Little-Known Steps from Low Self-Esteem to Radiant Confidence”:
 http://MuteYourCriticWakeUpConfident.com/sq
 

Love Your Neighbor As Yourself.  

A wonderful maxim that probably runs through all cultures, religions, and spiritual paths says, “Love your neighbor as yourself.”  Sounds good, but HOW do you apply that advice?

The term “your neighbor” in this context means someone far beyond the fellow in the next house or the gal at the next desk or even your friends across town or across the country!  It is transpersonal.

And the term “love” in this context means something far greater than “warm fuzzies” or hugs or remembering special days of the special people in your life.  For the extremely over-simplified purpose of this blog, I’m going to arbitrarily define love a couple of my favorite ways: 

(1) Attitude – The willingness to see the best in someone, free of judgments, condemnations, or demands.  

(2) Action – The willingness to listen carefully, free of judgments or condemnations or demands.   (There are of course many other actions in addition to listening that can demonstrate love.) 

You Can’t Love Someone Else Until You Love Yourself! 

I, and many others wiser than I am, believe that it is necessary to love yourself to make possible loving others.  Do you also believe that? 

If you do, and if you want to be a truly loving person to yourself and others, here are my suggested steps.  BTW, they work! 

(1) First, “YOU” (the centered you) make the commitment to love yourself.  This could be stated as your “Desired End Result.” 

(2) Next “YOU” make the commitment to understand how your personality is constructed, and how on earth it is that a part-of-your-personality, your Inner Critic, thinks that fully half of all-you-are is ‘bad.’  

>>I sometimes call this “taking driver’s ed.”  It’s learning stuff  before doing stuff.<<

(3) Then “YOU” make the commitment to learn and practice two things: (a) you practice AWARENESS that when you have self-put-downs or other-put-downs, those feelings of guilt or anger in any of a dozen guises are the result of Inner Critic-Judge (ICJ*) attacks . . . and then (b) you practice the SSSS* self-talk to the ICJ* to soothe it and separate yourself from it.   Not incidentally, the fourth of the six statements is very spiritual.

>>I sometimes call this “taking the car on a drive.”  This is where the rubber meets the road, pun intended!<<

Freedom!

This process causes a lovely shift deep within you, once you have practiced it enough.  The shift is experienced as a movement from feelings of condemnation of self or others . . . to taking self-responsibility for your feelings . . . to asserting appropriate authority within yourself (over your ICJ) . . . to the exhilarating freedom to be yourself. 

Then the miracle occurs: You contact the realization that “YOU” are love . . . and loved . . . and loving.  Not to mention creative!  Empowered!   Confident!  Eager!

At this point you may or may not feel it’s appropriate to take actions to demonstrate the love you feel.  

Blessed “YOU”! 

COMMENTS?
Click below the second horizontal line below. 

Dr. Rebecca
Your Confidence Coach
What would you like to be more confident about?
 

Rebecca R. Riales
M.Ed., Ph.D., LPC-LPCC-NCC 


HOW I CAN HELP
Do you have BIG plans & goals, but even BIGGER self-sabotage?
Do you feel depression or anger?  Do you have fear of rejection, or feel unworthy?
My specialty is helping people discover their confidence and create exciting motivation. 

ACRONYMS EXPLAINED – The Path to Your Confidence
ICJ = Inner Critic-Judge
EC = “YOU” as the Emerging Center, like being the CEO of your life
SSSS = Six Simple Self-talk Statements which “YOU” say to your ICJ.  This is the basic version:  1) Thank you, you’re good at your job!  2) I received your message that _ _ _. 3) I appreciate your underlying good intentions. 4) I have some really good news for you: My vulnerable inner child is safe here with me and _ _  (your term for God).   5)  So you can relax because … 6) we’re handling things a different way. 

PSYCHOLOGICAL MODEL
I stand on the shoulders of giants, Dr. Hal Stone & Dr. Sidra Stone, the original creators and developers of the revolutionary model of the psychology of inner selves.  You can learn more at their main site: 
www.VoiceDialogue.org 

PHONE CHAT?
If you’d like to talk, it’s easy to schedule.
http://tungle.me/rrriales 

COMMENTS WELCOME
Make comments (below the line below), or share or save this blog, by clicking below. 

Receive RSS notifications of each new blog by going here:
http://muteyourcriticwakeupconfident.com/Test/wp/blog/?feed=rss2 

(61)

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